I, for one, do not believe that I am “grown up” yet. And although I like to tell the fable of me as a child stacking mobility bags on my bunk beds and inventorying my toys in my lifelong quest to be a logistics officer, I must confess that this story is a farce. Let it be said, though, that I love my job. I can’t believe they pay me to spend all day with the people in my flight. Awesome, awesome folks. And truth be told, my high school/college job of video store clerk prepared me well for the supply world. And yes, realistically I will remain a professional logistician for quite sometime. But, indulge me as I journey through my options for a second career…
#1 Major League Baseball General Manager
I have many special skills that would make me good at this job. Most of all, I know baseball better than anyone I’ve met personally, and have a solid grasp on sabermetric statistics like UZR, FIP, and WAR. I understand that Ben Zobrist posted the second best WAR last year and that Manny Ramirez loses with his glove as many runs as he gains with his bat. I realize that fielding percentage is a practically worthless tool in gauging defensive prowess. I also have management skills and can make sweet powerpoints on all sorts of things baseball related.
#2 Gourmet Chef
Holly will tell you that we don’t usually order steak when we eat out because I can make just as good of a steak at home. She will also equally tell you that she doesn’t like my burgers all the time because I make “weird” burgers. Apparently she prefers a cheeseburger with ketchup and mustard over my green chile burger with roasted anaheim and poblano peppers seasoned with garlic salt, balanced with an avocado spread, and served with a chalula southwest mayo. Cooking is an art, but an art that you get to eat when done. I dream to one day make something delicious that someone will want to buy.
#3 Professional Music Critic
I wouldn’t this being a side job any time someone wants to hire me. I have this vision of Rolling Stone stumbling upon my facebook music lists and hiring me. I couldn’t imagine getting paid to listen to music and write about it. So basically someday after I retire I will relax in my log cabin on a lake writing music reviews for the local newspaper. I will also go to shows. Too old to go to shows you say? Not if I’m a professional music critic! All the young kids will look at me weird, but then I’ll tell them why I’m there and they will suddenly accept me as one of them. Right?
And, to keep in good practice, how about a good song recommendation? I know I posted this one earlier, but I didn’t really know how to work a blog yet, so I’m making sure it gets in here. The song is called ”Kettering” by The Antlers, and it’s one of the most heartbreakingly moving pieces of music I’ve heard in a while. It serves as the opening track to their stunning concept album. Think of it as the captivating first chapter to an unbelievable novel. Hope you like it. And hope you listen to it with the lights out.
Who knows if any of this will ever really happen. And until then I remain a dedicated Logistics Officer in the US Air Force who loves my job, loves my people, and finds supply chain management strangely fascinating. Good thing that job #1 is essentially unattainable, job #2 is a post-retirement gig, and job #3 is hobby!