Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Five Things I Don’t Like!!!

Positive. Enthusiastic. Optimistic. These are typical terms that are often applied to me. Ah, but let it not be said that things don’t bother me! On the contrary, here are five things that chafe my soul:

1) Snide Comments

These are the kind of comments that add absolutely nothing except for negativity to a situation. They are often thrown around the end of the table at meetings, the back of the classroom, or whispered in the side of groups of people. They are always whispered in that sort of way so that it’s supposed to sound quiet, but it’s always juuust loud enough so that everyone can hear. The goal is typically to make someone in the room feel like crap, and this is usually the sole goal.

2) Anti-corporatism

Man, Walmart, is, like, so bad maaaan. They have greed. Evil corporate greed, right? While certainly some companies operate unethically at times, the idea that every company is somehow evil is spread rampantly in convos and in the media. Yet the same people who blast “evil corporations” are the same people who bemoan the demise of the economy. In the future, let’s focus on the actual unethical behavior by corporations. THAT is the bad part. The very fact that a company makes money (and provides jobs, by the way, and supports the economy, by the way, and brings tax revenue, by the way) does not make that company evil.

3) Feigned Authenticity in Music

Here’s a phrase that you’ll hear on shows like American Idol a lot: “Ya know, I just was wishing you’d have made that feel a little more authentic.” Wait, what? Fake authenticity is an oxymoron. The commercial pop industry is built upon writing pre-fabricated songs, dishing them out to Good Looking Pop Star X, and them asking them to make it “feel” authentic. You want authentic music? Try music where the artist performing the song is authentic because they WROTE the song.

4) Wishful Thinking vs. Theology

Theology is a touchy subject, and the centuries of scholars, theologians, and philosophers will attest that it is highly difficult to figure out. Picking something and sticking with it is one approach. Spending a lifetime searching is another. One thing that doesn’t really work, though? It’s called wishful thinking. It usually starts with something wishy-washy like “Well, I like to believe…”. Well that’s just dandy. “I like to believe that Hell doesn’t exist. But Heaven does. And all people go there. Oh, Hitler you say? No, he doesn’t go there.” Well then where does he go? Nowhere? “Well, only good people go there”. Who decides who’s good or bad? “I dunno, but that’s how I prefer to think about it".” Congrats.

5) Overused Clichés Designed to Allow All Behavior

“I’m just being real, man” = I’m allowed to say whatever jerk thing I want to say because being an honest jerk is sooo much better than a cordial person who holds their tongue.

“I’m just sayin’” = I have just said a terribly inflammatory thing but don’t want to act like it was a big deal

“No offense…” = Here comes an offensive statement

and, why not, 6) Sweet Pickles. A pickle that is not sour just seems wrong…

No comments:

Post a Comment