Sunday, May 22, 2011

A Random Blog of Sushi, Cabbage, Looking Awkward, NASCAR Stereotypes, and Things That Mildly Bother Me

I’m an adventurous food guy, and I will pretty much try anything once. This almost led to me vomiting on a table in South Korea once, but that’s an outlier. For almost any food that people love I can at least understand why they like it, even if I do not. I’d prefer a thick raw onion to stay off my burger, but I understand the flavor that an onion brings and can see why people like it. The reverse is also true. A lot of people hate garlic, while I could practically bite into a head. But garlic is strong and it lingers, so more power to you if you hate it. This brings me to the one food that I just do not understand: sushi. Now I have not tried all sushi, so maybe there is something I would like out there. I was talking to some friends the other day and said that the texture and flavor of uncooked seafood is the worst, and it seems to me that efforts to conceal the flavor by coating it in salty seaweed and dippy it in wasabi just go to show that we want to go to any lengths to not taste what we’re eating. And what do sushi people say? “Oh, just feel how it slides down your throat"!”. Really? Have we skipped chewing too? I don’t blame you, I’d want to get that thing away from my tongue as fast as possible myself.

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On the topic of food, I made my first attempt at coleslaw last night. It occurred to me that at age 25 I just cut and cored my first cabbage. Seems like that would have happened by now.

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Anyone remember my quest to make my lawn green when I first moved to Ohio? I did a whole blog on it. I want to take it ALL back. I now completely and fully understand why everyone’s lawns were dead. Ohio lawns are from the devil. The combination of torrential spring rain followed by pounding sunshine make my grass grow an inch a day. My lawn is too good. It’s green, it’s lush, it’s impossible to mow, and it’s driving me crazy. I want my lawn to die. I now see that a brown lawn is not a symbol of laziness, but it’s a celebration that weekend’s of toil and sunburn are now over.

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I’m now on page 22 of a report about an intersection near my hometown. When I’m done I will never want to drive through that intersection again. I’m surprised no one has called the cops on me as I’m now spent one hour standing there with a clipboard, 45 minutes standing there with a stopwatch, and 5 minutes running around taking pictures of it. I have received numerous weird looks and one flirtatious wave. (I think…don’t spoil it for me!!)

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As a matter of principal please do not be one of those people who chides other peoples’ hobbies by saying “how do you even find time for that?”. We all have 24 hours in a day and we all do things that are enjoyable to us sometimes. You just might consider your hobbies valuable and not others’. Implicit in a “how do you even find time that?” statement is that you believe you are far to busy doing massively meaningful and important things to engage in such trivial things.

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How does Papa Murphy’s stay in business? You take, you bake, and still tastes worse than a Red Baron. It looks like bloated bread and feels like a rock in you.

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In a month and a half I will be attending my first NASCAR race, and I’ll be doing it in Kentucky. This is a rite of passage. Should I wear a wifebeater, grow out my semi-stache, and drink five cheap beers? I’ll be more out of place than a conservative military guy at a hippie music festival. Wait…

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Does anyone else hate it when a song ends without the person saying the obvious word that they are supposed to finish a sentence with. It be like me saying that my favorite thing about a good BBQ is that I love hamburgers and hot…

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Song of the week comes from The Antlers.

3 comments:

  1. Asher has issues with people not finishing the lyrics as well. He always tells me, they forgot to say, "love" or whatever word they leave hanging. At least he listens to something... Maybe I should start singing my instructions to him & leaving off the last word. Maybe THEN he'd pay more attention to me! :)

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  2. Hear! Hear! about the hobbies. Chrissa keeps getting on me for my foreign coin collection...but hey, I enjoy it. As for Papa Murphey's...seriously. How can you make pizzas that bad and stay in business? It tastes like something you should be selling to raise money for your marching band.

    As for the Sushi, my thought the two times I tried it was, "How can something with such a SMALL piece of fish in it taste SOOOO fishy????" I don't think anyone not raised in Japan truly likes sushi. I think they like the idea of liking sushi--like it's some kind of status thing.

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  3. You should check this guy out: http://www.thesneeze.com/steve-dont-eat-it/

    He eats random foods (or non-foods) and writes about it. HILARIOUS. This one's my favorite: http://www.thesneeze.com/mt-archives/000058.php

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